Yikes. It’s been a while. Still trying to get settled in my new routine. Found a church near work and some time in the morning. So that’s good.

So where have I been spiritually.

First, a bit in awe about how weak I really am. Been thinking about how true it is that the dividing line between good and evil is in every human heart, and how easily it is to step over the line. We all do, in little ways, every day. In our thoughts, in our words, in what we do and what we fail to do. . . Christ’s death, our death, by a thousand cuts. . . Funny how surprised and disgusted we are when others do the same thing.

We are one body. One heart. We have one weakness. One salvation.

I had a third meeting with Barkett, who also brought this up. Reminded me that our weaknesses are a call for compassion. We must recognize ourselves in others. Accept our faults and theirs, as we are all connected.

He also had a fascinating theory about Mary at the wedding of Cana. I am sure I am butchering it here, but basically it is that he believes that it wasn’t until the wedding that Mary was ready to fully accept/ surrender to God’s will. His comment was that during the course of her life the phrase “and Mary pondered this in her heart” is present in the Bible — from the Nativity, to the presentation,to the finding of Jesus at the temple. But at the wedding of Cana, she definitively puts Jesus in charge, without pondering. In fact, Jesus even counters her “What will you have me do? My hour has not yet come” and she persists “Do whatever he tells you.” After that time her internal debates cease to be.

Finally, a few thoughts that have carried me through the last few weeks.

Thought one. Keep first things first. Taking refuge in yourself is just stupid.

Lord my God, I take refuge in you;
save and deliver me from all who pursue me,
or they will tear me apart like a lion
and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me. — Psalm 7

Two. God is good.

God did not spare his own Son, but handed him over for us all. With him, he has given us all things.

And three.

Unless a grain of wheat shall fall upon the ground and die, It remains but a single grain with no life.



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